Do you ever feel like you are all alone with no help in raising your child? Do you ever feel sad, like you are in pain because you have no mate to help you raise your family? Do not despair! Around the world, single-parent families are a growing problem and concern. In the U.S. about 1 in 6 families is a single-parent one. What are some key items to make sure are in your wounded arrangment?
KEY 1: COMMUNICATION
This is always key, in any relationship but especially the parent-child. Things go much smoother if parent and child can communicate, and trust and respect heightens in the family. A parent can go a long way if he or she asks the child questions, and also asks the child to help out the family. Explain the situation the family is in to your child, perhaps the financial situation so that the child can better understand why he cannot have certain things.
You want to know what is on your child’s mind. Take time out to specifically communicate with each individual child, taking an active interest in his daily activities.
And note that a child can detect very well whether you are interested in them or not, just like any one of us can detect whether or not a person is really genuine. And children seem to be more adept at this than any other age group.
KEY 2: LOVE
You are not the only one going through this tough time. Your child is also without that parent, and so emotions are wild and lopsided and can be for a long, long time if you do not tend to them now. It is actually traumatic for a child to grow up without the other parent, and many fears are present.
It is good for you to tell your children that you love them, but you want to show them even more so. Take interest in them, doing with them the things they enjoy. And being affectionate is a wonderful way to show your love, perhaps by putting your arms around them while you talk.
KEY 3: DISCIPLINE
Even though the family is suffering trauma, discipline should be upheld. Some single parents, especially women, have had to learn this aspect of raising the child because perhaps the father used to have the sole responsibility of doing so. Whatever the case, it must be enforced.
Discipline is a form of love, but being permissive or passive is a sure way to show your children that you do not really care.
Upholding discipline in the family arrangement – even a single-parent one – can teach your children valuable life skills later and will help them to be more disciplined and hard-working later on in life!
It also shows your children who is boss. A parent who does not discipline his or her child will end up being run over by their own child, and there will be no respect in that relationship.